Name: Santa Claus
Day Job: Toy Workshop Manager and List Checker
Side Hustle: Purveyor of vegan baked goods
Location: North Pole
Here’s the thing about senior citizens: they are living, as the youths put it. These folks are eating dinner early, winning mad cheddar at bingo, and started the pastel hair colour trend well before the millennial cohort was even walking. If there’s one thing to remember about the elderly (aside from the obvious respect thing), it’s that they are not to be counted out. Santa has been working his entire life, and just when you thought he would retire - nope! He’s still at it. Not only is he still running Christmas, but he has recently started his very own side hustle as a baker of vegan, artisanal treats - Kringle’s Kookies.
While the months leading up to December tend to be absolute chaos for Santa, he has a ton of free time on his hands the rest of the year. So much so that he started joining his wife in the kitchen when she prepared their weekly stock of cookies.
‘At first he was a complete nuisance,’ his wife explains, ‘mixing up the baking powder with the baking soda, getting distracted and letting the cookies burn to lumps of coal, or lacking any self control and eating the bulk of the freshly baked batch. Rookie.’ But with a little perseverance, sincere interest, and countless hours parked in front of Pinterest, Santa’s baking skills (dare we say it) surpassed those of the Mrs.
What started as a downtime distraction has quickly transformed into yet another passion to add to Mr. Claus’ ever-growing list (alongside well-behaved kids and freshly swept chimneys). After perfecting his recipe, and receiving nods of approval, Santa was emboldened to take his cookies to local cafes and shops to try. It was love at first bite. From the jolly guy’s kitchen, to every spot in the North Pole, Santa really knew his cookies were a hit when they first appeared on a plate for him, left from someone on the ‘Nice List’. Just don’t forget the organic almond milk!